The Weight-loss Conundrum

Many of us have ridden the rollercoaster of weight-loss and gain.  There are times when the weight just vanishes without much effort and other times when we may feel weighed down in shame, guilt, and neglect.

The biggest question I had when it came to my own weight problems always cycled back to,


Mind you, I’m not encouraging the victim stance, only the informative seeker-of-knowledge approach…pondering philosophical answers to the most convoluted questions.

You want to know what insights I received?

I hope you do!  Most people in the US are concerned about the way they look.  My hope is that you, the reader, will take what I have to say to heart and lighten up your grip on the whole matter…and perhaps realize that the dominant factors of your weight challenges are not always the most obvious.  

This life is too precious to spend most of your seconds and thoughts of the day, counting calories or putting yourself down in every reflective surface.  How many times have you played imaginary plastic surgeon where you cut away and reconfigured your fat into other places? Or maybe you re-contoured yourself to look like the models in magazines or on TV?

Put down that imaginary scalpel and listen…There are MANY factors that go into your current state of appearance.

When you embrace the deeper stuff that’s going on in your life, maybe then, the steps toward weight-loss will become easier for you.  Becoming a workout clone to transform into another person’s body type is not always the answer.  You need to find the lifestyle for YOU, and you alone.

I will begin by stating for most of my life so far, I have been of the larger size.  A curvaceous goddess, if you will.  When I was little, my parents told me I was “big-boned.”  I didn’t really notice how much bigger I was until I saw pictures of me, 4-years-old, in stretchy ballet tights with a light pink leotard.  I was a giant compared to all the other little girls in class, hence why I was put in the back row when we performed on stage. 

Luckily my mom reminded me how it went.  She said I knew the routine but I was distracted.  My memory of my one and only ballet performance is a bit hazy, but what I do remember is being scared.  Audiences’ eyes always felt like laser beams of Kryptonite to me.  I didn’t handle it well at all, so to avoid drawing more attention to myself, I followed the girls in the front row, who seemed a bit lost.

The point is, I chose to follow the crowd to avoid becoming uncomfortable.  This was a theme that began very early on and intensified into my adulthood.  

I was too insecure to stand alone.

Believe you me, it is easier to follow the crowd.  But where does it get us?

Weight Factor #1: 

Are you following the pack for convenience?

Think about all the times you worked late or when you were out with your friends.  Did you eat out of peer pressure even though you weren’t hungry?  Did you make food or drink choices because you’d draw more attention to yourself if you didn’t?  Or maybe you chose a particular food as a reward for a hard day or because you hadn’t eaten it for a looooong time…at least THREE days prior. (because three days is a long time) 

I understand convenience and especially the power of the inner circle.  Your tribe can be pretty aggressive and resistant if anyone goes against the vibe.  However, if you choose to go a different direction, it helps to have an inner circle that supports your growth and independence.  Always stretch out your wings and fly.  Who knows, others may get the nudge to fly with you. 

During my young adulthood years, my weight continued to increase.  Eventually, my life path took a detour. I went through a divorce, then found myself doing a complete 180 in the weight department.  I released adipose layers within SIX months, losing 60 pounds like THAT!  This brought on even more questions for me.  Again, the most important question of all: “Why?”

Weight Factor #2: 

Are you in a toxic environment?

The toxicity you may be experiencing, could be a friend, a relationship, or a life lesson, where you find yourself packing on the pounds for protection.  It creates space between you and them/it.  If that huge stressor in your life is somehow subtracted, it WILL change you physically and emotionally.  You may actually get that spark again to take care of yourself and feel pumped in taking action and walking down a new path.  

Did you know, when I quickly lost the 60 pounds, I heard the words “I’m worried, are you anorexic?” quite often.  Believe you me, I was far from anorexic. This is not something you really want to hear during a triumphant period of your life…Like I said, inner circles are rough!

Flash forward: When I found myself in a new relationship, every consecutive year that went by, I advanced to my previous weight-gain schedule.  This time, within 9 years, I reached a new high of 220 pounds.  All it took was a few pounds here, a few there, and it seemed to pack on very quickly by the 7th and 8th year.  

Perhaps you’re now asking the question: “Why?”

Weight Factor #3:

Are your stress hormones overloaded?

If you’re riding each day by the seat of your pants and using caffeine or energy drinks to keep your wheels spinning, it’s going to affect your nervous system, cortisol levels, and add to your midline.  Sit down with yourself and prioritize ways in which you can decompress on a regular basis so that you can avoid these jittery highs and lows.

Also, take into consideration the stress load AROUND you.  If your environment is high stress, your work is high stress, your relationship is high stress, you may need to make some changes to defuse all of this excess energy.  One of the most overlooked factors of weight gain is: 

Weight Factor #4:

We live in an energetic soup.

The kind of energetic soup I’m talking about is the dense, invisible, multi-layered soup that creates our inner and outer environments; our reality.  It’s a marinated blend of energetic frequencies that contain every dream, every nightmare, every goal, and every put-down.  Basically, every thought that has been thunk, and emotion that’s been emoted, and every sound that has been said, gets reverberated and stirred in the earthly pot of emotional soup.

Mind you, we walk around in this every day.  Stirring and adding to the energetic soup that never ends.  There should be a country song about this.  

Because we are all connected in this energetic soup, oftentimes, we’re unaware of the silent messages WE receive.  Our bodies assimilate frequencies from our environment extensively.  How often do you ask yourself if your thoughts are truly yours?  Most don’t.

After diving into the energy work vortex in 2008, I have not been the same since.  It’s opened my eyes to new perspectives and continues to transform my ideas and theories.  After having worked with my own energy, and understanding most of the mysteries behind my triggers, my weight battles, and my emotional baggage, one thing revealed itself to me very clearly:

We are all clairsentient beings.

Weight Factor #5:

Do you take on the emotions of OTHERS?

When you’re in a partnership, over time, you can develop a shared nervous system, meaning, you develop empathy and compassion.  If your hearts are in alignment with one another, you may feel each other’s pains, pleasures, and everything in-between.  It can be a challenge to decipher if the emotions you feel are yours or belong to your partner, or even your inner circle.

If you have children, you’re connected like a wi-fi control center.  If you have parents that need assistance or friends who are going through surgery, any of these extra electrical influences can give you a shortage if you’re not present in your own control tower.

We feel emotions very deeply, some more than others.  This includes the actual FEELING of other’s emotions.  Many times I’ve found myself in a slump, and instead, it was someone else’s energetic ripple that I managed to collect and call my own.  This invisible law of sentience weaves itself through the whole spectrum of emotions: from fears, to self-esteem, and includes other’s traumas and unresolved issues.

When you feel something this deeply, it’s important to understand where it comes from or else you could be wasting energy on something that never belonged to you in the first place.  Here’s a philosophical question to ponder:  “Is the way you feel about yourself your own or a projection from someone else?”

Weight Factor #5:

Emotions Can Affect Weight.

Once you understand where and what these feelings are, then you can proceed to dig a little deeper into your-Self.

In Louise Hay’s book, Heal Your Body A-Z: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way to Overcome Them, she discussed what emotions are connected to weight issues.  It resonated well with my discussion so I decided to include it here:

“Fat or Weight issues: Oversensitivity. Often represents fear and shows a need for protection. Fear may be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive. Running away from feelings. Insecurity, self-rejection and seeking fulfillment.”

Think about your current state of emotions.  Do you honor them?  Do you express them?  Do you smother them?  Do you connect with what Louise Hay is stating?  If not, that’s okay too.

Weight Factor #7:

Your diet got you down?

“Let thy food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”   —Hippocrates

Now if this is true, which I know in my heart it is, then why do I feel the interpretation of this message has become so distorted, militant, and extreme?

The diet fads out there nowadays…paleo, raw, grapefruit, water…the list is long and does little for the individual’s mindset who is so preciously different from one another.  A one-size fits all diet does not exist and there’s a reason why so many individuals are now battling with eating disorders.  Some people are afraid to eat, and quite a few of these individuals go down a bingeing and purging path out of pure frustration and resistance.

We are a colorful spectrum of nationalities, who live ALL over the world, who have very distinct backgrounds and family histories, and who swim in their ancestral DNA…a very tangy energetic soup….which consists of deeply rooted emotional bonds that tie blood together for ETERNITY. 

Will eating watermelon save the day?  Meh.

My biggest pet peeve regarding diets actually, is the marketing behind them all; to heavy-handedly influence you with buzz words, stimulate your mental excitotoxins, while the loudest and most convincing voices of the bunch, get you to believe in their products.  Great confusion can come about from aggressive marketing techniques, which is why there’s so much contradictory information online about food, supplements, even herbs and natural remedies. 

Do you think the indigenous Inuits would benefit from a fat-free diet?  This suggestion for them to change their dependency on whale meat and fat would put their lives at risk, not to mention distort their deeply rooted and bonded resonance of their ancestral lines.

Do you think Europeans should go gluten-free?  Home-made bread in Europe has been a staple for millennium, and contains such a better quality than what we see here in the US.  Their bread has been loved by the hands of each family member and is saturated with nutrients, unlike our bleached and enriched grains.  And if you’re sugar-free, forget the gluten-free.  Sugar is a prime replacement when gluten is out of the picture.

Do you think the western diet of processed foods would benefit tribes in Africa?  With research from the 1930’s, we know that the indigenous African tribes in the Sudan, on the Western side of the Nile, were groups of very healthy individuals.  Their indigenous eating lifestyle of milk, blood and meat, and animal fats, prevented many illnesses during that period.  This included tribes who had more of a vegetarian diet and fed on fish, grains, fruits, vegetables, and insects to supplement fat-soluble factors.  After the 1970’s, the western diet began to integrate its way into their stomachs, introducing diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, and tooth decay to those who were once free of all these conditions.

Though it’s beneficial to look into our indigenous past for diet resources and options, sociological insights should also be taken in consideration.  I’m sure if the statue of the Paleolithic Venus could talk, she’d have some stories to tell about the Paleo diet.

Even though it may sound like I’m discouraging all diets, I’m really not.  Diets, ALONE, will not help you lose weight.  Diets, AS A TOOL, can be used to begin a weight-loss regime and help you find your flow in creating new habits.  Diets should be used as a period of REFLECTION instead of the end all way of eating. 

Just as energy changes and fluctuates, we as energetic beings should allow for change and fluctuation in all aspects of our lives.  This includes our eating lifestyle. 

How does your body respond to strawberries?  What about green beans or chocolate?  Connecting with your food and taking an observational approach is the key to understanding your conditioned habits and emotional resistance toward change.  By opening up your cupboard, you’re opening up your childhood, and I know for many, that can be the scariest cupboard of all.

Weight Factor #7:

Unresolved Trauma

Temple Grandin once created a “hug machine” to reduce stress and anxieties that she experienced on a day to day basis.  I believe overeating has become that inverse hug action, squeezing our intestines and creating that deep pressure on our insides, because that is where we need our hug most of all.

There is so much I want to share about trauma, however, I’ll save it for another time.  I will say that unresolved trauma will show up in many ways and emotional eating is only one.  For some, trauma can create what seems like a hole in your soul, sometimes several holes, and your ways of coping may have to do with filling that emptiness with something.

There is hope, however, you CAN come to terms in a healthy way and bring peace and light to your body AND your soul. 

Weight Factor #8:

Are your everyday choices sustainable?

The word SUSTAINABLE.  Now that is a word I would like to buzz around the media!  That’s a word that brings you into the present moment.  It’s descriptive enough to cover an abundance of topics.  When you’re talking about sustainability, you’re not only talking about food, you’re talking about the quality of food, how it’s processed, where it’s grown, who grew it…so many environmental factors that contribute into the energy of the food we assimilate into our unique temples of flesh.

It also brings up other factors of weight health: exercise or lack there of, nature time, career, relationships, family issues….all of the ingredients that make up the recipe and product of who we are today.  Regardless what you’re doing, what you’re eating, who you’re entertaining, ask yourself, “Is THIS sustainable?”  The answer may surprise you.

Sustainability affects the taste of our energetic soup we create everyday.  Don’t you want it to be tasty?

Although there are many more factors involved in the weight-loss conundrum, the very last one I’d like to you to ponder is…

Weight Factor #9:

Do you claim your space?

Regardless the size you are at this very moment in time, do you claim your space?  Your body certainly does, what about your mindset?  Do your eyes show a vacancy sign?  Have you given up and now travel via star-gates to dimensions you prefer?  Are you disconnected with your lower half and no longer give it love or attention because it’s too difficult?  Or perhaps you’ve written it off as, “Who cares?”

Well, now to answer that question, I do.  I care.  That’s why I chose to write about this complicated topic.

The concept behind taking up space can have very different meanings from person to person.  And yes, weight may have some connection with the space you fill but it doesn’t always define your state of health.  You cannot pigeonhole a person’s weight challenges into one way of thinking and call it a day.  No.

Out of all the things I mentioned today, the ONE piece of advice I wish for you to take with you is…

claim your space.

Feel your head, your arms, your back, your hips, your legs, and your feet and STAND in your power.  Embrace all that is you!

By claiming every crease, 

every hair, 

every wrinkle, 

every fold, 

and every dimple,

 You are showing gratitude for the skin you’re in.

If you lost your right leg in an accident, what would be your biggest wish?…

If you lost your eyesight, what would be your biggest wish?…

If you lost your voice, what would be your biggest wish?…

Right now, in this very moment, you have a BODY. A LIVING temple.  Sure, you may not be at the ideal version of your-Self at this point in time.  However, when you claim your space and own who you are, your energy changes.  You become energetic and that ignites a spark of attraction.  This attraction can begin to manifest feelings that better-fy (yes, that’s my word) EVERYTHING.  You begin to take inventory on yourself and fix IT up.  You begin to get the motivation to DO instead of just be.  You begin to FEEL BETTER.  You begin to take more steps toward change, and more and more change occurs because even THAT feels good!

In the bigger picture, YOU permeate a sense of confidence that will create a positive shift into our energetic soup of life.  We need this more now than ever.  No particular size is required!

So the next time you go to the beach or the pool, instead of covering yourself up and hibernating in the back of the shady zone, put on that bathing suit and go swimming!

Next time you take a shower and are busy with your grooming routine, add a little lotion to seal the deal, smack your own tush, and spit out some sweet words of encouragement to your reflection to show appreciation for all of your body parts!

Next time you feel pain, tenderness, or muscular tension, massage yourself. Or even better…get a massage.  Begin to CONNECT with your-Self and allow others to do the same.

When you choose to wait until this day or that day, you may find yourself waiting, alone in a pool of regret.  The future is unknown yet FULL of possibilities.  Why not take advantage of it now?

You see, when we honor ourselves and all of our unique experiences as well as honor and learn from the cyclic histories of our ancestral past, we can heal at multi-dimensional levels.  Healing at that multitude can open your heart to a harmonious future where you can really create the Self YOU desire to be.

And always remember…

You Matter.

You ARE Matter.


As A Matter-of-Fact,



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